nagitok:

"what did this man do, officer?"
"he just… he just did everything”

nagitok:

"what did this man do, officer?"

"he just… he just did everything

simsgonewrong:

Mom you’re so embarrassing

simsgonewrong:

Mom you’re so embarrassing

comprecation:

DRAG HA

comprecation:

DRAG HA

trapg0ds:

joseguwop:

" i want a 6’3 boy "
bitch you need a job

have a seat 

men have preferences out the ass
"i want a girl with big boobs, thick thighs, a big ass, a tiny waist, long hair, no makeup, preferably a mix a mix between beyonce and a kardashian"

but if a girl has one preference, suddenly she’s an unemployed bitch

fuck outta here with this bullshit this post is trash 

capitalistpropaganda:

listen, son. if there was really a monster in your closet this would be a huge new discovery. honestly you getting mauled would be pretty insignificant in the grand scheme of things if you think about it

Me and Drakes first date
Drake: And that's when I said first of all Barack, I'm mixed, but enough about me. I wanna know about you. *boops my nose*
Me: Well, I do not like the beach because I do not like sand or crustaceans but I do personally feel very connected to the ocean. I actually feel as if I may be mixed with mermaid.
Drake: That's so interesting. You are such a well rounded individual. Please, tell me more about you.
Me: I am very afraid of the dark.
Drake: A few years back I read a passage that said something like "You're not afraid of the dark, you're afraid of what is inside of the dark." I just thought that was so beautiful.
Me: ... Are you getting smart with me?
Drake: Not at all I ju-
Me: *loudly* Please do not come for me Mr. Graham I know what the hale I'm scared of!
Drake: ... that was extremely arousing and I'd like to take you home if that's okay with you.
Me: You pickin up the tab?
Drake: *nods*
Me: *puts the basket of rolls in my bag* Get the check.